Dreams, Trust and Prayers.

I have many things going through my head right now. Things like what is God's will for me. Where does He want to take me? Am i listening to Him? Is this my idea or His? Is this where I want to go, or where He wants me to go? All these questions have been bursting in my brain for a long time now and im starting to get frustrated. I wish an angel would just visit me in my room and tell me directly and forwardly, "Maigan, you are meant to go here" or, "Maigan, go there and this is what you will do there". Man, wouldn't that be nice? But then i start to think, well, isn't that a little bit too easy? Where's the faith? Where's the risk? Where's the trust?

Which brings me to an interesting dream i had the other day and have failed to write it down till now.

I had a dream where i was on a highway. A highway made up of many other highways, like...personal highways- each road specifically built for a certain person, leading them where they are to go. Roads that criss-crossed each other and looped around and went over and under other peoples highways. But the highways didnt have cars driving on them, it was just people almost sliding in whatever direction their highway took them. Making an sense? No, not really, but i dont know how else to really describe it.

I was on my own highway and i remember being excited for where i was going. I would see signs along the way that told be about a specific time in my life that had been certain memories i thought were important to me. i was smiling and happy. I even saw my good friend Sara riding along her own highway, excited in where she was going. We even talked with one another as we were sliding away on our highway. Eventually though our highways were going in different directions and i was alone again. Yet, i didnt feel alone. I was excited to see where my highway was taking me. I finally came to a point in my highway and i saw a man that i felt like he must have been Jesus. As i was approaching, i could feel like the road below me was cracking and crumbling. I asked him what was going on and i felt like he was saying to me yet without words, like he was saying them through me, "These are the things in your life that you have built up against you. You have to learn how to trust."

And that was it. The end. Perhaps it had something to do with a book i was reading that same night, or perhaps i just really need to learn how to trust people, to trust God. Almost like He's saying that on my own highway of life, i need to learn how to trust in Him and the direction He's is taking me. And not only trust in Him, but trust in others, let others into my life, show them that i'm human and not perfect.

I havent stopped thinking about this dream for the past 2 days since i had the dream. It makes sense now.

Now that i realize it (and i know it's still going to be hard to let go of my control), i've got to learn to trust in God. To trust Him in where He's taking me. I've really got to get down and pray and fast and seek His face so that i make the correct decision with where i am supposed to go in life. With that comforting dream, i think, hopefully, that i'll be a little more secure in my decision- whatever it may be.

Thanks Jesus for always being there for me. For hearing my prayers and comforting me. You have never left me, you have always been faithful. You have always cared for me, protected me and watched over me. I dont know where i'd be if i didnt have you in my life. Knowing you like i know you know (and i want to know even more of you) if i had left you, i truly believe i'd have a hole in my heart. I would feel in my whole being- alone. The feeling i was when i hadnt known you before. I was so alone and lonely that i had put up barriers in my life to block people from getting to know me. I put up blockades so i wouldn't trust others. But now, because of you Jesus, i can live in freedom, knowing that i am never alone, that you are always there and that i can trust in you, because your words are trustworthy and true. Thank you Jesus. I love you. Amen.