Magdalena

Today was a very interesting day....


As a full-time children's pastor working at a church downtown of a big city, sometimes you get ...well...let's just say....some interesting people stop by the church during the week. In my nearly 3 years (has it been that long already?) today will be one of the most memorable days of my time working here. I've had people ask me if they could go through our garbage wanting something to eat, refusing a free hamburger from Frisch's. I've also had the same person ask me 3 times in 3 separate occasions using the same excuse if they could borrow jumper cables or money for their car that was miles away, but really all they wanted was money to buy drugs. I guess they forgot that they had already tried to scam me before?


But today, today was different.


Her name was Magdalena. I absolutely will  not put her in the same category as those written before her because, for some reason despite what she looked like, i think i actually believe her. Magdalena was born in Hungary, with a thick Hungarian accent, around 50 years old, and didn't really have a problem showing off her body. She came in wanting to talk to Pastor, but seeing as he was gone doing errands, i truly had the privilege of talking to her. 


She told me a story about how when she was younger, about my age, she was in her room when an angel came to the foot of her bed asking her if she wanted to go to heaven. So ofcourse, without hesitation she said yes. She described it so beautifully. She explained how when she was there, she felt nothing but joy, peace, and love. She felt nothing of the flesh, just pure love. She didn't want to leave but God wasn't finished with her yet on earth. She went on to say that while she was in heaven, God had her feel honored. She asked Him why He made her feel honored because she hadn't done anything to be honored for. His answer was because everyone, no matter who you are, are honored. It doesn't matter if you lived in a ditch or in a palace- you will be honored in heaven. We are not just a body, we are made in God's image. 


She also went on to say that it really hurts God's feelings when we look in the mirror and say that we aren't pretty. It hurts Him because He created us in His image, He designed us. It's an insult to say to yourself that you don't like yourself. 


Though she was loud, dancing around in our office, and so passionate about God, with a first glance you'd think she was some crazy person, but... i don't know, she was different. It's like she didn't care about what others thought about her, all she cared about was what God thought about her, and how she needed to share this story with others. That God loves you so much and that He wants you to not only love Him, but to also love yourself, inside and out-and not in a conceited way. He wants you to look in the mirror and say, "Hello, beautiful! I am made in His image and i am beautiful!"


Magdalena, i know you will never read this, but i encourage you to keep being loud, go ahead and dance in front of complete strangers, go ahead and be yourself. Because God created you and you have a beautiful story to tell! 

Maturity and Childish things :3

I honestly don't expect anyone to read this, and honestly, i don't really care. And i don't mean to be rude by saying that, it's just that the reason why i'm making a blog is so that i can be able to write out my life. It's easy for me to forget things, and most of the times it's on purpose. I have this thing where i'll repress my feelings and not share it with anyone except God alone, and until i finally crack, will i talk about something that's really bothering me.

But what's funny though is that i'm a pretty honest person. If only you'll ask me i'll tell you anything and everything, even if i know my last statement may have gone a little too far. I'll repress my feelings until someone approaches me about what's wrong.

Honesty is best and i believe that anything you say, even if it was a joke there's always some truth in it. If there's one thing i don't like- its liars or people who make up excuses. I really can't stand those sorts of people. I love them, but please, if you lie over something ridiculous your respect points from me have just gone down :/

My life isn't all exciting, i see the same people, do about the same thing everyday, go the same places all the time. I'm in a routine, a comfort zone.

I hate routines and I hate comfort zones :S

I love surprises and not knowing what's next. I love traveling and getting out of my comfort zone. I like doing new things and experiencing something i'm not all comfortable with. Even with that being said, i don't consider myself as some adventurer or dare devil. Sure, i went to Africa to do a Kids Crusade with 2 months notice,

 and yes i did go to Los Angeles with a friend just to see a bunch of famous Korean singers and didn't understand the language, but other than that, i don't necessarily call my self an adventurer. I don't like doing things that will get me in trouble or make me feel like i'm a bad person. I just like doing things spontaneously and living life like everyday's a chance to do something different. So what? Who cares if i want to take a train ride for 3 days across america and come right back around? Sounds fun to me! And i plan on doing it, too! Others might ask what's the point of taking a train for three days and turning right back around, but honestly, how fun would it be? Being able to see everything fly right past you as you just sit there listening to the chug of the train. And some might ask why in the world would i choose a train when we have airplanes? Been there. Done that. The sky is beautiful, but so is the earth, right? I want to see America even in the littlest of nooks and crannies. Trains are different, awkward, and random. I like that. In fact, i'm sorta like that.

 Different. Awkward. Random. I like it. Why would i want to be like everyone else?  I'm confident in knowing that all i have to worry about is whether God likes me or not. And i know He not only likes me, but He is so deeply in love with me that i can't even understand it. Whether you believe in God or not, He is deeply in love with you too! We all make mistakes and it's through our mistakes do we find out who God is, cause He corrects them!

I'm 21 and young. I like cute things, what's wrong with that? I like childish things, i laugh at childish things, i buy childish things, is that ok? Does that make me immature? Mmm...ok maybe a little bit but i honestly am mature, i like to think that i have a balance of maturity and immaturity. If all i was was 21 and boring, i'd be...well....boring. I like pink, i like hearts, i like hello kitty. I don't like scary things, but they don't make me afraid, that's just childish (ha!).

I think my iPhone (and yes, its true, it will change your life) describes me perfectly. My phone has everything i need on it. I like to watch and read the news a lot, and so i have a few news apps. It has my calendar with my schedules and activities on it, it has my emails on it for me to work on and check even when i'm not near a computer, it has the weather app on it, and even a GPS on it (i still get lost even with the GPS). Even with all that boring and "grown up" app stuff on it, my cover for my phone is hot pink with a cute chubby bear with big blue glasses on it with a heart plastered in the middle of its tummy with the words "HUG ME" written on the bottom of it. Cute, just darling, right?

Even though i can be pretty mature, i'm still childish in some ways. I've come to the conclusion that that's ok, childish things make people laugh and smile, and who wouldn't like to laugh and smile?

If anyone reads this, i'd be surprised.

And i like surprises.

:)
-mai