Ah yes, finally! I think the answer has come! Ofcourse, i still have to pray about it, but i think i've got the answer i've been waiting for, torturing over and stressing out about! Ha!
For a while i've been feeling stretched. Stretched as in what direction i should go in. To stay? Or to go? I was in so much pain and heart ache because all i wanted to do was what God wanted me to do. I was in pain whether or not God wanted me to go away to stretch my wings, learn more or serve Him in a different way. It would've been really difficult for me to leave. (You can read my blog called "The Number 3" to see how badly i was struggling). At first i thought that in order to go to school for mission work i had to leave, but... who says that i have to leave? Why cant i do both? Why can't i just stay working in a church as a children's pastor while at the same time going to school for mission work? Why hadn't i seen it before? God has given me such an easy solution!
Why do we do that? Why do we always make things so much harder for us? We expect the solution to be a really difficult one, but sometimes they end up being really simple.
Sometimes in life God makes us wait. To sweat it out, to make us weak, to makes our knees shake. So that we won't rely on our understanding and knowledge and strength, but instead, we rely on His understanding, knowledge and strength. Joshua 1:9 says, "I command you, be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
With that being said, though we feel blindfolded and being led in a direction we have no clue where we're going, be strong and courageous and know that our Abba is watching over us, leading us in the direction He wants us to go.
I know missions work is hard work and it'll no doubt be difficult for me and definitely out of my comfort zone, but...its like a dream for me. I love to serve others and most of all i love serving God. What better way than to do mission work? Ideally, mission work for kids? Perhaps an orphanage? (Orphans have been on my heart since i was eight, i know one day that i will adopt a child for sure!) I always tell my kids to dream BIG, because God has BIG plans for us, and i think this is one of them. I know im not the greatest at building things or even being a people person (considering im pretty shy sometimes) but, that'll just be another lesson Abba will teach me.
So the solution (as of right now) i will apply to the Bible college near where i live and continue as Maigan the 21 year old Children's Pastor. A job where not all the kids are sweet little angels, but i know God has called me to be in (you can take a look at my blog called, "Destiny, fate or calling" for that story, lol). I absolutely love children, and it's such a blessing to work with them, serve them, and teach them about our loving Father and our Savior.
Lesson learned: Wait on God, and He WILL answer you.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Hebrews 10:26-29
Wow. So i just finished reading Hebrews 10:26-29 and i am just amazed at what i read. Basically, it said that anyone who has received the knowledge of truth and sins willfully, deliberately and knowingly, you have just rejected the sacrifice of Christ and you have insulted the Spirit of grace.
That is so impactful to me. I mean, how many times have we done that? Sinned full knowing in what you just did, but not really caring because you know that Jesus is going to forgive you anyway...We'd all be lying if we said we've never done that before. Hebrews 10:26-29 is such a slap in the face. A real eye opener! When we willingly sin, we are rejecting what Christ has done for us (sacrificing Himself for our sins so that we could live a life forgiven). Not only are we rejecting Christ, but we have basically spit in the face of the Spirit of grace! Wow, makes me not want to do that again, right?
If you'd like to read it yourself, i'll save you some time and show you it right here:
From the New International Version:
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. 28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?
Or if you're still having a hard time understanding, here is The Message version:
"If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we now know, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the Judgment—and a mighty fierce judgment it will be! If the penalty for breaking the law of Moses is physical death, what do you think will happen if you turn on God's Son, spit on the sacrifice that made you whole, and insult this most gracious Spirit? This is no light matter."
To think that i have trampled the Son of God underfoot and treated Him as an unholy thing and insult the Spirit of grace, is absolutely disgusting and horrific of me (to put in extreme words). I could never even think about doing that to the Son of God, the One who saved me! The One who redeemed me and paid the awful price of crucifixion for me. He cares so much for me and to think that i have disgraced Him like that? Wow.
But still, still He loves us so much and carries nothing against us. He still cares for us and forgives us each and every time. But that doesn't mean we wont be punished or disciplined. Just a like a dad would discipline or punish their child after something they did wrong, he still loves his child. He just needs to teach them a lesson so they will learn. God's the same way, and He still loves us no matter what, forgiving us of our sins.
I will definitely think twice before i deliberately sin. I knew it was wrong before, but now, knowing what i know now, i can't do that again!
Abba, help me to be mindful in each decision i make. I ask you to help me make wise decisions and choices, to be conscience of the things i do. I ask you Jesus to please forgive me of my sins, the sins i have done consciencley and subconsciencely. Help me to be aware of the things i do. Thank You for Your grace and Your mercy. Without it, i dont know where i'd be. Thank You for Your love. Amen.
<3
That is so impactful to me. I mean, how many times have we done that? Sinned full knowing in what you just did, but not really caring because you know that Jesus is going to forgive you anyway...We'd all be lying if we said we've never done that before. Hebrews 10:26-29 is such a slap in the face. A real eye opener! When we willingly sin, we are rejecting what Christ has done for us (sacrificing Himself for our sins so that we could live a life forgiven). Not only are we rejecting Christ, but we have basically spit in the face of the Spirit of grace! Wow, makes me not want to do that again, right?
If you'd like to read it yourself, i'll save you some time and show you it right here:
From the New International Version:
26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. 28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?
Or if you're still having a hard time understanding, here is The Message version:
"If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we now know, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the Judgment—and a mighty fierce judgment it will be! If the penalty for breaking the law of Moses is physical death, what do you think will happen if you turn on God's Son, spit on the sacrifice that made you whole, and insult this most gracious Spirit? This is no light matter."
To think that i have trampled the Son of God underfoot and treated Him as an unholy thing and insult the Spirit of grace, is absolutely disgusting and horrific of me (to put in extreme words). I could never even think about doing that to the Son of God, the One who saved me! The One who redeemed me and paid the awful price of crucifixion for me. He cares so much for me and to think that i have disgraced Him like that? Wow.
But still, still He loves us so much and carries nothing against us. He still cares for us and forgives us each and every time. But that doesn't mean we wont be punished or disciplined. Just a like a dad would discipline or punish their child after something they did wrong, he still loves his child. He just needs to teach them a lesson so they will learn. God's the same way, and He still loves us no matter what, forgiving us of our sins.
I will definitely think twice before i deliberately sin. I knew it was wrong before, but now, knowing what i know now, i can't do that again!
Abba, help me to be mindful in each decision i make. I ask you to help me make wise decisions and choices, to be conscience of the things i do. I ask you Jesus to please forgive me of my sins, the sins i have done consciencley and subconsciencely. Help me to be aware of the things i do. Thank You for Your grace and Your mercy. Without it, i dont know where i'd be. Thank You for Your love. Amen.
<3
Friday, February 4, 2011
Heaven is for real.
So, strangely i usually only write when i know what i want to write about. But tonight, i dont know what i want to write, yet i still want to write! Am a making any sense? Do i ever? Rarely....So bear with me as i talk randomly.
So i have still been thinking a lot lately about God's plan's for me and i just recently finished a book about Heaven Is For Real. A true story about a little boy at almost the age of 4 where he is taken to the hospital because his appendix ruptured and the parents didnt find out till 5 days later. Well long story short, while the little boy was being operated on he was taken to heaven, not because he had died, but because God had a plan for him and wanted him to see heaven. Also, He allowed him to go to heaven, i believe, because the little boy was so scared for his life. Anyways, the boy experiences Heaven, saw the throne of God, saw Jesus, Mary, Gabriel, John the Baptist, his grandfather, and even his miscarried sister! It was absolutely amazing how this kid talked to his dad about it. He talked about it so nonchalant, so matter-of-fact, like heaven is for real. Now ofcourse, if your thinking, "How did this 4 year old boy write this story?" Well duh! He didn't, his dad did!
Over the course of time the boy would just randomly talk about Heaven or Jesus and about how beautiful it was. It really got me thinking. Like how great God truly and really is. How much He truly and really cares for us so passionately. It seriously got me thinking about how real He is. How personal He is. How so one-to-one He is. He desires to be a part of our life in a grand way and all we have to do is allow Him!
Which makes me think, how self-centered am i? I only think about myself and i have failed to realize that Jesus is with me wherever i go. Now, i know i've said and heard that a million times, "God is with you wherever you go. He's always there, watching what you're watching, listening to what you're listening to, going where you're going." But now, my eyes have truly and really been opened to the fact that...God really is with me wherever i go.
I want to do everything i possibly can in order to please Him. I want to do His work and go where He wants me to go and do what He wants me to do. Am i making Him smile? Am i pleasing Him? Is He proud to have me as a daughter? I should really hope so, but i'm not perfect. I often fail to put Him absolutely first in my life and i have made mistake after mistake after mistake. And it's not like they're different mistakes, its usually the same mistake! Why is that? Why do we always do that? Make the same mistake over and over again? But the beautiful thing about it all is that Jesus is always forgiving them. Each and every mistake. Repeatedly. I love that. I love how no matter how many times we fail, he's always there to pick us up and dust us off and set us on our feet again. And often enough, we don't even say a "thank you". How selfish we are. How ungrateful. But how precious is it to know that even though we take things for granted, he still tenderly cares for us and loves us to the very core. It's so humbling. It humbles me to know that even though i don't always make the right decisions, he's always there for me to clean up the messes and help me make the right choices.
I just don't understand how other's don't see this. How can other's not have hope in Jesus? If you don't have hope in Jesus, who else is there to hope in? "Hope that is seen is no hope at all". That's what faith and hope is all about.
After reading Heaven Is For Real, it opened my eyes to see that i shouldn't be selfish and keep Christ to myself, i need to tell others about him! It's my job! It also taught me how special it is to be a Children's Pastor. Think about it, i have the honor and privilege to teach children about Jesus. And when i get to Heaven, i'll have the blessing to embrace those children and walk with them in streets of gold...in the presence of God! How beautiful will that day be! I can't wait!
There is no doubt that Heaven truly is for real.
So i have still been thinking a lot lately about God's plan's for me and i just recently finished a book about Heaven Is For Real. A true story about a little boy at almost the age of 4 where he is taken to the hospital because his appendix ruptured and the parents didnt find out till 5 days later. Well long story short, while the little boy was being operated on he was taken to heaven, not because he had died, but because God had a plan for him and wanted him to see heaven. Also, He allowed him to go to heaven, i believe, because the little boy was so scared for his life. Anyways, the boy experiences Heaven, saw the throne of God, saw Jesus, Mary, Gabriel, John the Baptist, his grandfather, and even his miscarried sister! It was absolutely amazing how this kid talked to his dad about it. He talked about it so nonchalant, so matter-of-fact, like heaven is for real. Now ofcourse, if your thinking, "How did this 4 year old boy write this story?" Well duh! He didn't, his dad did!
Over the course of time the boy would just randomly talk about Heaven or Jesus and about how beautiful it was. It really got me thinking. Like how great God truly and really is. How much He truly and really cares for us so passionately. It seriously got me thinking about how real He is. How personal He is. How so one-to-one He is. He desires to be a part of our life in a grand way and all we have to do is allow Him!
Which makes me think, how self-centered am i? I only think about myself and i have failed to realize that Jesus is with me wherever i go. Now, i know i've said and heard that a million times, "God is with you wherever you go. He's always there, watching what you're watching, listening to what you're listening to, going where you're going." But now, my eyes have truly and really been opened to the fact that...God really is with me wherever i go.
I want to do everything i possibly can in order to please Him. I want to do His work and go where He wants me to go and do what He wants me to do. Am i making Him smile? Am i pleasing Him? Is He proud to have me as a daughter? I should really hope so, but i'm not perfect. I often fail to put Him absolutely first in my life and i have made mistake after mistake after mistake. And it's not like they're different mistakes, its usually the same mistake! Why is that? Why do we always do that? Make the same mistake over and over again? But the beautiful thing about it all is that Jesus is always forgiving them. Each and every mistake. Repeatedly. I love that. I love how no matter how many times we fail, he's always there to pick us up and dust us off and set us on our feet again. And often enough, we don't even say a "thank you". How selfish we are. How ungrateful. But how precious is it to know that even though we take things for granted, he still tenderly cares for us and loves us to the very core. It's so humbling. It humbles me to know that even though i don't always make the right decisions, he's always there for me to clean up the messes and help me make the right choices.
I just don't understand how other's don't see this. How can other's not have hope in Jesus? If you don't have hope in Jesus, who else is there to hope in? "Hope that is seen is no hope at all". That's what faith and hope is all about.
After reading Heaven Is For Real, it opened my eyes to see that i shouldn't be selfish and keep Christ to myself, i need to tell others about him! It's my job! It also taught me how special it is to be a Children's Pastor. Think about it, i have the honor and privilege to teach children about Jesus. And when i get to Heaven, i'll have the blessing to embrace those children and walk with them in streets of gold...in the presence of God! How beautiful will that day be! I can't wait!
There is no doubt that Heaven truly is for real.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Dreams, Trust and Prayers.
I have many things going through my head right now. Things like what is God's will for me. Where does He want to take me? Am i listening to Him? Is this my idea or His? Is this where I want to go, or where He wants me to go? All these questions have been bursting in my brain for a long time now and im starting to get frustrated. I wish an angel would just visit me in my room and tell me directly and forwardly, "Maigan, you are meant to go here" or, "Maigan, go there and this is what you will do there". Man, wouldn't that be nice? But then i start to think, well, isn't that a little bit too easy? Where's the faith? Where's the risk? Where's the trust?
Which brings me to an interesting dream i had the other day and have failed to write it down till now.
I had a dream where i was on a highway. A highway made up of many other highways, like...personal highways- each road specifically built for a certain person, leading them where they are to go. Roads that criss-crossed each other and looped around and went over and under other peoples highways. But the highways didnt have cars driving on them, it was just people almost sliding in whatever direction their highway took them. Making an sense? No, not really, but i dont know how else to really describe it.
I was on my own highway and i remember being excited for where i was going. I would see signs along the way that told be about a specific time in my life that had been certain memories i thought were important to me. i was smiling and happy. I even saw my good friend Sara riding along her own highway, excited in where she was going. We even talked with one another as we were sliding away on our highway. Eventually though our highways were going in different directions and i was alone again. Yet, i didnt feel alone. I was excited to see where my highway was taking me. I finally came to a point in my highway and i saw a man that i felt like he must have been Jesus. As i was approaching, i could feel like the road below me was cracking and crumbling. I asked him what was going on and i felt like he was saying to me yet without words, like he was saying them through me, "These are the things in your life that you have built up against you. You have to learn how to trust."
And that was it. The end. Perhaps it had something to do with a book i was reading that same night, or perhaps i just really need to learn how to trust people, to trust God. Almost like He's saying that on my own highway of life, i need to learn how to trust in Him and the direction He's is taking me. And not only trust in Him, but trust in others, let others into my life, show them that i'm human and not perfect.
I havent stopped thinking about this dream for the past 2 days since i had the dream. It makes sense now.
Now that i realize it (and i know it's still going to be hard to let go of my control), i've got to learn to trust in God. To trust Him in where He's taking me. I've really got to get down and pray and fast and seek His face so that i make the correct decision with where i am supposed to go in life. With that comforting dream, i think, hopefully, that i'll be a little more secure in my decision- whatever it may be.
Thanks Jesus for always being there for me. For hearing my prayers and comforting me. You have never left me, you have always been faithful. You have always cared for me, protected me and watched over me. I dont know where i'd be if i didnt have you in my life. Knowing you like i know you know (and i want to know even more of you) if i had left you, i truly believe i'd have a hole in my heart. I would feel in my whole being- alone. The feeling i was when i hadnt known you before. I was so alone and lonely that i had put up barriers in my life to block people from getting to know me. I put up blockades so i wouldn't trust others. But now, because of you Jesus, i can live in freedom, knowing that i am never alone, that you are always there and that i can trust in you, because your words are trustworthy and true. Thank you Jesus. I love you. Amen.
Which brings me to an interesting dream i had the other day and have failed to write it down till now.
I had a dream where i was on a highway. A highway made up of many other highways, like...personal highways- each road specifically built for a certain person, leading them where they are to go. Roads that criss-crossed each other and looped around and went over and under other peoples highways. But the highways didnt have cars driving on them, it was just people almost sliding in whatever direction their highway took them. Making an sense? No, not really, but i dont know how else to really describe it.
I was on my own highway and i remember being excited for where i was going. I would see signs along the way that told be about a specific time in my life that had been certain memories i thought were important to me. i was smiling and happy. I even saw my good friend Sara riding along her own highway, excited in where she was going. We even talked with one another as we were sliding away on our highway. Eventually though our highways were going in different directions and i was alone again. Yet, i didnt feel alone. I was excited to see where my highway was taking me. I finally came to a point in my highway and i saw a man that i felt like he must have been Jesus. As i was approaching, i could feel like the road below me was cracking and crumbling. I asked him what was going on and i felt like he was saying to me yet without words, like he was saying them through me, "These are the things in your life that you have built up against you. You have to learn how to trust."
And that was it. The end. Perhaps it had something to do with a book i was reading that same night, or perhaps i just really need to learn how to trust people, to trust God. Almost like He's saying that on my own highway of life, i need to learn how to trust in Him and the direction He's is taking me. And not only trust in Him, but trust in others, let others into my life, show them that i'm human and not perfect.
I havent stopped thinking about this dream for the past 2 days since i had the dream. It makes sense now.
Now that i realize it (and i know it's still going to be hard to let go of my control), i've got to learn to trust in God. To trust Him in where He's taking me. I've really got to get down and pray and fast and seek His face so that i make the correct decision with where i am supposed to go in life. With that comforting dream, i think, hopefully, that i'll be a little more secure in my decision- whatever it may be.
Thanks Jesus for always being there for me. For hearing my prayers and comforting me. You have never left me, you have always been faithful. You have always cared for me, protected me and watched over me. I dont know where i'd be if i didnt have you in my life. Knowing you like i know you know (and i want to know even more of you) if i had left you, i truly believe i'd have a hole in my heart. I would feel in my whole being- alone. The feeling i was when i hadnt known you before. I was so alone and lonely that i had put up barriers in my life to block people from getting to know me. I put up blockades so i wouldn't trust others. But now, because of you Jesus, i can live in freedom, knowing that i am never alone, that you are always there and that i can trust in you, because your words are trustworthy and true. Thank you Jesus. I love you. Amen.
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