Shock.

I've never seen anything like this before. I'm still in shock. When i saw it i couldn't help but cry out to God and just keep repeating His name. I couldnt help but cry. It was really hard keeping my eyes open, i was just in so much pain. It's been a long while since i've experienced that kind of pain, in fact, it may have been my first.

Actually, i dont think ive ever been in shock either. I guess shock is when you take in things slowly and your mind goes blank and it takes a while for you to grasp onto what is really happening? (Before you freak out and think if anything happened to me, don't worry, nothing happened to me at all. Im fine. I'll tell you what happened in just a while.) Also, i guess shock is when you dont feel like doing anything but take a second to think about life and what life really means to you, or what life really is. Or how life can be taken in just a blink of an eye.

Maybe im being too dramatic? Maybe too emotional? Im not sure, but this is how i feel at the moment.

It's amazing to think that at one second your life as you know it can be completely normal, nothing special, just simply ordinary and then- in one split second it could be completely over. Life is so precious. But even when your gone, life still continues. For some who didnt know you, you never existed.

I've realized that tonight life is something you cannot take for granted. That you cant take the things around you for granted. All i know is that im really glad i have a God out there who cares for me and i can rest assured that i will be protected as long as i am in His hands. Im really glad He protects me. And loves me. He's always got His eyes on me, keeping me safe.

I wonder when this shock will go away. It's taking me too long to think and every time i cant help but think about what just happened. Literally, just what happened.

Here it goes, i guess ill just go and tell what happened. I really didnt mean to stall, this is just my thought process and how im trying to cope with it (im sorry im being wayyy too dramatic, i cant help it, im sorry).

I was driving alone by myself after watching Narnia in 3D with the youth group and on 275 a cop car was a while behind me flashing his lights with his sirens going off. Now, for the most part i was alone on the road and i had been thinking about something that was really irritating me.I must admit i was probably driving a little over the speed limit, so i freaked out and slowed down trying to see if he was trying to pull me over for speeding. But he just zoomed right past me going atleast 85-90 miles an hour. I was so relieved. That cop car had me so scared and freaked out that i had started screaming just too release my nerves! It was really funny actually. I probably screamed for a good 2 minutes, which is really long considering when youre alone and have no music on. After i had calmed down i started laughing, making fun of myself over how ridiculous i must have looked and sounded.

As i kept driving i saw a little ways off on the ramp exit i needed to take in order to go home atleast a dozen cop cars with flashing lights, ambulances, and fire trucks. The bridge that the ramp was on was lit up so bright. Now, that area is right off the side of a large cut in a large hill that has a highway going alongside it. It is really curvey and dangerous if youre not careful. It's bends are really sharp and you really have to slow down in order to be safe.

Someone, someone's child must have gone too fast around the bend on the ramp and drove their car right off of the bridge and into the hillside below.

I have never seen such a horrifying scene as this. The car was mangled, twisted and barely recognizable. Smoke was bellowing from the car that was turned upside down. By the time i had seen it, my guess it had to have happened in the last 15 minutes or less. It didnt seem there was much hope for the person or persons in the car. It was an aweful site. I dont ever want to see it again. But its stained in my memory.

When i saw it i was in such pain for the persons in the car and for their family that all i could say was "God, God, that's someones child!". I was borderline hysterical. I could only pray for their families and for those in the car. I couldnt tell if anyone had lived, but from the looks of it, i dont think it would have been possible. Cops and other persons were just standing around it, probably thinking about how to do their jobs, i guess.

As i passed it and after my hysterical moment, i was thinking about how while someones life probably had just ended, life was still going on. People who hadn't seen it didnt care. They had no clue someone's precious child was just taken away. They had no clue someones family was just being put through a whirlwind. They had no clue. But they didn't care, life for them was still going on. They just couldnt wait to get home and sleep in their precious bed, all warm and cozy with their Christmas tree lit up. Life for them had just continued another day. What a blessing. What an honor. But no, they dont realize that.

I feel so sorry for their families and for themselves. It's only 2 weeks till Christmas. I can't help but think about how this family is going to have a very hard Christmas together. But it is my prayer that they will allow God to comfort them and hold them, resting assured that He will take care of them.

I cant explain why life is the way it is. I also cant explain why God allows things to happen. Or why He gives and takes away. My only explanation is that He is God and He has reasons for everything, reasons that surpass our thinking. I think its best that we dont question Him and instead trust that He has everything under control.

Tonight, i pray for sweet dreams, dreams about me and my family and friends. Dreams where we dont take each other for granted. Where we live life to the fullest. Not selfishly, but self- lessly, taking care of each other and loving one another.

Good night and sweet dreams.