So which is it- destiny, fate, or calling? I say all three!
Let me tell you the story, before i jump ahead of myself!
Three years ago i applied to Lee University in Tennessee to go for Youth Ministry. My heart was set on it! I really thought that God had called me to youth ministry since i was 15 and thats all that i could have seen myself doing at the time. As much as i prayed about it, i didnt really see myself doing anything else. I think i believed in that so much that i didnt really stop to think, "Ok, God. Is this really what you have in store for me?"
I was really excited to go away for college. I was accepted to Lee, had already bought my college needs such as storage containers, a new bed set, even new pencils with matching notebooks and paper. I was set. Ready to go. I had my loan going through and all i had to do was wait another month before heading down to Lee.
But something went wrong with the loan process and i got a letter stating that they were sorry but my loan didnt go through.....!!!. What in the world?! I was really put through a blender and chopped up. I even questioned God saying why did He put such a passion for youth ministry in my heart when i felt like He had taken it away from me? Why wasn't i allowed to go to Lee, the place i was in love with? I thought He had called me to be a Youth Pastor?
And so for about 6 months or so i was lost. Completely lost. Asking God question after question. I had no job, no car, no license. I was lost. Stuck. All my friends were going away to college and experiencing life while i was at home in my room watching silly shows.
Then i started coming down every wednesday early in the morning to church since that was the only time and way i could get there. I spent my whole day there just helping Pastor Justin in whatever he needed to be done for that nights youth service.
All the sudden, our Senior Pastor approached me about becoming the Children's Pastor! What in the world? How can he entrust me, an 18 year old to pastor over children? I was so inexperienced. I had no clue what direction God was taking me in. I was still shy (and i still am) and quiet. I wasnt quiet the people person.
I had worked in children's ministry since i was probably 14 or 15 under 2 previous children's ministers and they relied on me a lot. I did everything from puppets to lessons. I did attendance and offering, made post cards to each and every child who wasnt in attendance that day. And loved every bit of it, even though at times i would stress out because it seemed like no else was as passionate about it as i was. Even though, at the time i didnt realize that i loved it so much. It was just another thing i did for the church.
And so, even though at the time i was still lost and confused, wondering where God was taking me on the whirlwind of a ride, i said yes to becoming the first 18 year old full time children's pastor staff member. And i have been since then. It will be my 3 years in february! Can you believe that?
I love children's ministry very much and i wouldnt have it any other way. Im so glad i took a risk and just did what God had REALLY wanted me to do. I solely relied on Him for absolutely everything. And i mean everything- wisdom, knowledge, everything...
So, i said alllllllll of that to say this: Today, i get in the mail that from a bank of some sort saying that i owed them $3500 for a loan that was guaranteed for me to go to Lee University. It said that my current school was Lee U. And that i had been approved for the loan. From 3 years ago.
.
...
......
What? Thats the whole reason why i didnt go to Lee! I didnt go because my loan hadnt gone through.....
What happened was that 3 years ago there was a miscommunication between my loaner and Lee U. But you know what? That doesnt really bother me. I truly believe that destiny, fate, calling, and God had called me to be a children's pastor.
What kind of person would i be now if i had found out a way to go to Lee? What kind of person would i be if i hadnt taken a risk and said yes to becoming the new CP? Who would the new CP be? Where would i be? Would i be the person i am today? I really dont think so. Im so glad to know that God has everything under control, and that He has ordered my steps. Its good to know that He is always guiding me and there for me, even when im lost and confused in the direction that He is taking me.
Lesson learned. Trust in God in all circumstances. Lean on Him and take risks. Who knows what kind of person you'll end up being? Or the blessings that is in store for you around the corner....
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