"I've missed the boat"

Ahh, yes, what a beautiful day in the neighborhood! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and im in my living room watching hours of Doctor Who. A show on the BBC channel that i have recently become addicted to. Its weird and strange, cheesy and has cheap graphics. But eh, i love it, and so does the UK apparently. They're obsessed with it, and now so am i. Hey, if you can't beat'em, join'em. I've got the show to record all of the episodes and save them. Now on every Friday I can waist away my life for a few hours. It also gives me an excuse not to do my homework till later...

But Doctor Who is not the reason and subject for writing this post. Instead, im writing because I've come to notice that I am very closed minded. I take that back. I was close minded.

Before I started school, all i ever did was go to church and work. And I happen to work at a church. So put 2 and 2 together, and you get:

My whole life consisted inside of a church building.

Not that thats bad at all, whatsoever. But its just the fact that I did nothing to go outside of the church building and reach out to the lost. Which is what Jesus commanded us to do. God didnt send His Son so that he could stay in the synagogues and stay with the religious leaders and lawmakers. No, instead He sent His son so that he could save the lost, the poor, the oppressed...the sinners. Jesus wasn't bound in a church building, instead, he was bound to a cross. His whole life's purpose was to save us. To save us from our sins. How did he do that? He ate with sinners. He healed blind men, he made prostitutes and adulterers feel whole again. He made lepers who felt ugly and made them beautiful again. He went up to the very people that we as humans would set aside and see as unimportant. He went down to their level and looked them straight in their eyes and gave them hope. Hope to live forever. With him.

(Wow, that sounds pretty good, i could make that a sermon, couldnt I!...Moving on....)

With that being said, what am I doing as a follower of Jesus? What have I done to reach the poor, the oppressed, the lost? Have I done anything to build relationship with sinners like Jesus did? What am I doing? Am I even doing anything?

I've come to the realization that no, no im not. Sure, im impacting and making relationships with the people in my church. But it's not the found that need seeking, and its not the whole that need healing.

Now, I know without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that i am a good person. I know i have a relationship with Jesus and I love God. I also know that I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me. But with that said, I still havent reached out to the lost outside of my church walls.

Why has it taken till now to realize that I need to go out of the world....only to go back into it again? His grace has rescued me, and I ought to share it with everyone, not just those who share the same faith as me.

Im ashamed. Im upset. Im disappointed....in myself. Haven't I read the Bible through and through? Then how did i miss it? How did i miss the most important thing? How many more has missed the mark too?

I've grown up thinking that I should set myself apart from the world. "Dont listen to that music. Dont hang out with those people. Dont go to those places. Dont do this. Dont do that." But, thats not what Jesus did. He hung out with those people. He went to those places. He did this and he did that. Im not really sure if he listened to that music, because im not really sure if they had hip hop or rock n roll in those days...but you get the idea. What Im trying to say is this...Jesus loved these sinners with a painful passion. He was willing to look like an idiot to those who thought he was wrong. He was willing to be looked down at. He was willing for people to be down right angry and want to kill him. But that didn't stop him. He was bold. He was courageous, and he didn't let those sinners transform him into something he's not. Instead, he changed them into something much bigger than they ever thought they could be. He gave them life and hope.

I want to be like that. I want to be able to eat with sinners and be an impact in their life. I want to be an example of what a Christ-ian is. A real christ-ian.

I want to become relatable. How can I be relatable if i have nothing to relate to them with? I have no idea who some of the most famous singers and actors are. How can i say, "you shouldnt listen to her because her lyrics are bad." Well, how do i know? Because i know she's not a christian artist and so she obviously must sing about bad things? Im not saying that i should just listen to bad songs with wronchy lyrics all the time. But what I am saying is that I shouldnt be so judgmental. I should have atleast listened to the song once so that I can say whether or not its ok to listen to it.

I've totally missed the boat. "I've missed the ball" as i've also heard.

So whats next? Now i'm going to go out and build relationship with people who dont know Jesus. Im not going to bash him down their throats or shout it in the streets. Im not going to go up to random people i dont know and ask them to say the sinners prayer with me. No, instead, im going to become their friend. Im going to get personal with them. Im going to live the life of a christ-ian and show them the love that Jesus has for them. And when the moments right, when the opportunity arrises, when they're ready.... I'll tell them about his love, and what he did to show it.

<3